How quickly things change

I have never consistently gone to the doctor, with the exception of when I was pregnant. I know I should but I just never did.  After the miscarriage, again for my own piece of mind, I talked to my Ob about getting a full physical and getting every little thing checked out. I saw two possible outcomes to that, one, they would find somethings that caused the miscarriage and hopefully be able to treat it or two, they wouldn’t find anything and I would know the miscarriage was just a horrible experience that hopefully would never happen again.  And so began the next step in my journey….

February 8th I saw an internist and during my physical, he felt my neck and thought it felt larger than it should. That day he sent me to get an ultrasound and a few weeks later I found out there was a 4cm growth on the left lobe of my thyroid.  Since then I have seen many different kinds of doctors and had many different tests run.  They cannot say definitively but thyroid issues can cause miscarriages, so now maybe I have my answer.  But with that answer comes a whole new set of questions. Questions regarding treatment and future pregnancies….things that weigh very heavily on my mind.

But the reason I am sharing all of this information about my current health journey is because I realized a couple very important things that I hope will register with someone else out there.  First, get regular check ups! This sounds easy enough and I’m sure most people do but if you don’t, please consider the fact that I had NO symptoms! Physically I felt fine and had it not been for the miscarriage, I could be in a much worse situation. I am lucky because my tumor is benign, however down the road it could have become cancerous.  I am very blessed it was caught early. Secondly, be your own advocate! I have talked to a lot of different people in the medical field since I found out my diagnosis and I have learned it never hurts to get a second opinion or third or fourth or however many it takes for you to find a doctor you feel comfortable with.  

I have always had this underlying feeling that the miscarriage was my fault, that my body let my baby down. Logically I know this not true but sometimes the heart is not so logical…. And now I think, if I had gone to the doctor sooner they would have found the issue with my thyroid and I wouldn’t have lost my baby but there is no way to know if that is true or not.  So I have to believe it happened this way for a reason….stay tuned while I search for that reason…..

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